Observe: the terrifying Bra strapus, of the fauna family Stickusoutium.
Its fierce attacks on peaceful neighbors such as the Shoulderus bareus and Tank topus are well documented. A modern-day cousin, Strapus seethroughosus, has given rise to countless uh-people-can-totally-still-see-them horror stories.
But now comes a deceivingly delicate-looking new breed of removable, interchangeable Strapus (commonly known by the name StrapCouture) made of filigree, stones, suede, and leather-woven chain link — meant to be seen but remarkably compatible with spaghetti straps and other outerwear.
Amazingly, they’re adaptable to any climate: arid (the racer-back regions), tropical (sub-shoulder terrain), and temperate (double-layered under tanks and boat-neck collars, just for the look of it).
There is still much to learn from these fascinating little symbiotes. Still, with a little luck on their part (and a lot more responsible dressing on ours) we may be in for a better-looking future.
An elusive, welcome state of being known as Perpetualus chicus.
Available online at strapcouture.com.