Your teachers all predicted you would become a doctor.

Little did you know that they were really just taking a dig at your illegible handwriting. (That cryptic scrawl would be right at home on any prescription pad.)

Maybe you should enlist the talents of Christelle Chopard, handwriting analyst extraordinaire. Invite her to your next party (sure beats a clown) or book a one-on-one session, and she’ll help unlock the secrets to your peculiar penmanship.

For example, an “e” is representative of an ear, so a big circle means you’re a good listener. And she can see that the tail of your “p” curves to the left: That means you crave attention. As for the fact that your longhand is nearly indecipherable? Don’t let it get you down.

You’ve always known you have the write stuff.

Christelle Chopard (786-301-7324 or handwritingexpert.cc@gmail.com).