Hours of sweating conjugations and tenses, and all you remember from French class is “I don’t speak French.”

Cafe Maurice wants to help bring it all back. An L.A. establishment for eleven years before it moved to South Beach, the cafe captures that — how you say — je ne sais quoi of the classic French bistro: lace curtains, crooked tables, and a bar sweeping the length of the room.

Order strong espresso or Pernod while you catch up on Britney (tucked inside a copy of Proust, naturellement). Or, if you’ve got company, pop open a bottle of Chateau Margaux Bordeaux. For dinner, l’entrecote in bordelaise sauce, paté with cornichons, and chicken amandine (all under $20). For dessert, chocolate charlotte and creme brulee done the right way.

Work it all off (assuming women in a French cafe can get fat) during the late-night cabaret and gypsy music. But can you last till 5 a.m., when the doors finally close?

Like your professeur used to say: But of course you cancan.

Cafe Maurice, 419 Washington Avenue, Miami Beach (305-674-1277).