Heiresses don’t impress you. They booze. They cruise. Their vajayjays get press coverage.

Besides, all you inherited was a head full of tawdry gossip and useless info.

Until you mix with Christi Azurmendi, the Catamarca wine importer’s daughter who’s hosting in-home tastings all over the city.

Azurmendi has her father’s trained palate: Her stock of peppery malbecs and fruity merlots come courtesy of daddy’s Argentine buying trips. She’s also got the fun-loving, laid-back attitude crucial to any good house party (look for bubbly whites and chardonnay blends with fun names like Striptease).

Book for eight or more, and Azurmendi will present, pour, and chat your group through up to two hours of wine education. She’ll even steer food pairings in the right direction, whether your tastes run to cheese and crackers or full-on four-coursers.

You’ll be partying like an heiress in no time.

Just try to keep it classy for the paparazzi.

Christi Azurmendi (404-422-0808 or christi44@comcast.net).