In high school, getting felt up was a rite of passage. But, damn you, Kelly D., for spreading all those nasty rumors.

These days, getting felt up can actually be good for your rep.

Especially if you’re brandishing one of local designer Josh Jakus’s modern Um bags. Made from repurposed gray wool felt, they come in four shapes. The Tote is ideal for BYOB occasions (it’s as tall as a wine bottle). Stash your plastic and mad money in the grapefruit-size Hold. Look smart at a gallery opening with the Clutch or Carry in hand.

The felt keeps its shape, and the bags unzip (all the way) into a flat S-shaped swatch for easy dry cleaning and storage.

Your stylish practicality will have tongues wagging.

But you’re used to that by now.

Available at Persimma, 2163 Union Street, between Webster and Fillmore Streets (415-776-0201); Stem, 3690 18th Street, between Dolores and Guerrero Streets (415-861-7836). To see styles, go to joshjakus.com.