Every morning when you wake up at your beau’s …

You say: “Want me to run and get us some coffee?”
You think: I must get to a Starbucks loo stat.

He says: “Aw, thanks, baby, I’d love a latte.”
He thinks: Why won’t this chick poop in my john?

You’ll overcome your bathroom shyness with the Breeza, a deodorizing toilet seat. The four-stage process removes 95.8 percent of bathroom odors. (And with a number that specific, you know it’s scientifically tested.)

First the sensor tells the seat you’ve plopped down. Next a super-quiet fan sucks up the stink and sends it through a carbonated filter. Finally the clean air passes through a replaceable fragrance vent and comes back out smelling like roses (or at least not like caca).

The Breeza also comes in a warm version with three temperature settings, so you can warm your buns while you drop off the kids.

Doodie’s calling.

Available online at amazon.com.