Donkey Kong

You’ve tried Buns of Steel, Yogilates, and spinning.

And you still don’t have the small ass you’ve been dreaming of.

Try a different approach: Get yourself a mini donkey. Rhetta McAlister breeds the adorable things on her Spicewood, Texas ranch. Each named for a country music legend, the national champion asses grow to be just 30 to 32 inches tall and need only an acre of land on which to roam.

And, of course, they make great pets. Native to Sicily and Sardinia, they are known for their quiet, affectionate temperament. Mini donks are easier to train than ponies, get along with other livestock, and are useful for carrying supplies (or tired kids under 100 pounds) on hikes. Plus, they are low maintenance (a diet of grass, weeds, and hay) and thrive in just about any climate.

Obtaining an animal is going to cost you around $900-$3,500.

So this ass won’t put you in the hole.

Available online at minidonk.com.