There’s no dessert that gets pimped out quite like ice cream does.

Whoring around with chocolate chips, Oreo crumbles, sprinkles, nuts. Slathered in butterscotch sauce — work it.

You spoon some every night. But have you thought about the kind of ice cream you’re going to bed with?

Brad Parsons has. Which is why the Fairmont Chicago’s executive chef has created an ice cream program wherein you devise your own mouth-watering flavor (the kind Ben and Jerry would give their patchwork pants for). No taste is off-limits. Want avocado? Sure! Paprika? Okey-dokey. Bleach? Okay, that’s off-limits. But any non-life-threatening ingredient will do.

Parsons will perfect your dream cream, pack it up, and have it ready for you in 48 hours.

Ah, ice cream made easy. But don’t call it names.

That’s just cold.

Order your own pint at 312-565-6665.