Blue Balls

You’ve never been one for penis envy. But you would not say no to a set of balls.

Especially if they’re Nellie’s Dryerballs.

The cute little blue nodules are magical. Simply toss them in the dryer where they’ll tumble around, lifting and separating fabrics and relaxing fibers so the air can get in and do its thing more efficiently. Each pair of balls does the trick for at least two years.

By reducing drying time by 25 percent, the doohickeys will save you both time and money (double pow!), as well as soften fabrics. Plus, they’re toxin free, so you’re doing good for the environment. Oh, and that’s not all: They also rid your garments of wrinkles, so clothing doesn’t need to be ironed.

Here’s to avoiding that hand job altogether.

Available online at delight.com. For more information, go to nellieslaundry.com.