It was a dark and ____ [expletive] ____ [adjective for Northwest weather] Halloween night.

At home in ____ [Seattle neighborhood], ____ [name of person in room] was listening to ____ [overhyped indie band], drinking ____ [cheap hooch], debating whether to wear ____ [hideous early ’90s clothing fad] and go as ____ [Saved by the Bell character] or a rumpled ____ [article of clothing] and ____ [comfort shoe brand] to go as ____ [Seattle software mogul]. Suddenly, he/she heard a ____ [spooky noise] in the basement.

With visions of ____ [low-budget slasher movie] and ____ [early-career Jack Nicholson character] in mind, ____ [same person in room] grabbed the ____ [overpriced but brilliantly marketed cell phone/PDA model] and went to investigate.

Peering into the darkness, he/she yelled “____!” [gangsta rap lyric] and punched the air like ____ [aging action hero]. Startled, ____ [name of other person in the room] screamed and dropped his/her ____ [sexually deviant prop].

Clearly, both thought to themselves, this was going to be a ____ [salacious adjective] Halloween.

The End.