Oh, you read The New Yorker? Excuse us.

Then we couldn’t possibly expect you to derive any joy from Phillip Lim’s fourteen-piece holiday children’s collection. No interest in tinier yet ever so tasteful versions of signature pieces from his companion adult line. Not the party frocks and patent leather jackets; not the high-waisted denim pants.

But should you care, the designs are crafted from the finest Italian fabrics and luxe silk and are embellished with Swarovski crystals. Playground gear? Not exactly. But they’ll make your kid look pretty smart.

And that’s something to think about.

Available at 3.1 Phillip Lim, 115 Mercer Street, between Spring and Prince Streets (212-334-1160). To see styles, go to 31philliplim.com.

HEAR
The Broadway Kids’ Christmas Show
What: Music from the littlest stars of The Lion King, Beauty & The Beast, and more.
Why: Show tunes in, er, small doses.
When: Sat., 2 & 3 p.m.
Where: Children’s Museum of Manhattan, 212 W. 83rd St., b/t Amsterdam Ave. & Broadway (212-721-1234).

WATCH
The New Shanghai Circus
What: Chinese acrobats, jugglers, and aerialists amaze all ages.
Why: You’ll flip for it.
When: Thru Jan. 6. Wed. & Sat., 2 & 7 p.m.; Thurs. & Fri., 7 p.m.; Sun., noon & 5 p.m.
Where: The New Victory Theater, 209 W. 42nd St., b/t Seventh & Eighth Aves. (646-223-3010). Tickets online at newvictory.org.

CRAFT
Family Art Project
What: Create collage cards with fallen leaves and beautiful papers.
Why: Winter is the coolest season.
When: Sat. & Sun., 1-4 p.m.
Where: Wave Hill, W. 249th St. at Independence Ave., Bronx (718-549-3200).