Hear ye, Hear ye. Lady von Sassafras and Dame Sweetbuns hereby declare that henceforth they will no longer wear anything that makes their hips look as wide as their horses’; can hide small children underneath; or is covered with beads, ruffles, or anything else that makes them look like a sachet.

Instead, they will promenade in denim by Aristocrat — so called because of the line’s sophistication and high-end sensibilities. Styles are named after symbols of past and present aristocracy: the Tinsley (Mortimer), the Sutton (Place), and the Antoinette (poor Marie).

The ladies’ tailor, Mr. Fussypins, remains impressed with the craftsmanship of Aristocrat designer/founder Bob Bak, who not only holds a degree in chemistry but also has apprenticed for Chanel and Cavalli.

So please, compliment the ladies on their new jeans.

Lest you find yourself royally snubbed.

Available at At Ease, 5844 Sunset Drive, South Miami (305-662-1022); Intuition, 2037 Harrison Street, Hollywood (954-923-5656 or myintuition2.com).