February 26, 2008

Cease & Dis-sist

“Dis-missals” Postcard Book

Attn: Healthy Communication

We reject you. Gone are the days of sharing our feelings in person. And we say “Boo. Hiss” to the ol’ putting yourself out there.

Now is the time of easy outs: breakups on IM, termination through e-mail, and dirty talk via hand signals. To make things even simpler, there’s Dis-missals, a book of 36 rejection postcards.

Not sure how to tell him his excessive compliments skeeve you? Ignore your therapist and send “You know how when a fly lands on your arm and it feels kind of good, but then you realize it’s gross and slap it away? That’s kinda what you’re like.”

You bent over backward for him — and he just bent her over. Tell him to suck it with “I know that you cheated on me, and I just wanted to say that’s fine.” The notes include a handy-dandy blank space for you to fill in the recipient’s name and sign off with yours.

Sure, it may not be the most grown-up way to say it, but here’s another thing we reject: maturity.

Available online at amazon.com.