Funny how Freedom Park attracts Cheetos-eating, beer-swilling hipsters who stay skinny without lifting a finger. So funny you forgot to laugh.

In other ironic news, Cafe Physique is opening a new boot camp there.

It’s freestyle. It’s fun. And it’s totally worth ditching your Chucks for. (Okay. Just long enough to invest in arch support. You’ll need it.)

Show up with a bottle of water a few minutes before 6 on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. Ex-Navy trainer Chris Netopski doesn’t rely on stopwatches or set counts as he works you through 50-minute sessions of crunches, jumping jacks, relay-style sprints, and — betcha didn’t see this coming — yoga poses and Pilates stretches.

If you can gather a group of five or more, one of the trainers will come to you.

Just don’t thank him with that kind of six-pack.

Cafe Physique (404-444-2857 or cafephysique.com).