Trick teeth, mysterious smells, and kneecaps that accurately forecast the weather: The elderly sure are full of surprises. Just look at Fortnum & Mason. The British house of “posh nosh and luxury fripperies” recently turned 300, and what did it decide to do? Go global. Founded back in 1707 (cor blimey, it’s 69 years older than America!), the retailer of all things quintessentially English made its name delivering biscuits and other edible comforts to soldiers on the front line (talk about don’t shoot the messenger). Now it delivers right to your door. High-brow hampers named for occasions and fancy locales are packed accordingly: Pistachio and lavender nougat with honey, LBV port savour, and two bone china mugs fill the Whitehall; Marylebone’s a jamboree of olives, fruitcake, and carnival nuts; and Sir Nigel’s marmalade dundee cake, raspberry preserves, and assorted chocolate squares make up Tea Time. Or order a la carte and fill your cupboard with classics like morello cherries, cognac butter, and hot young Chinese ginger. Hey, F&M’s still got it. Available online at fortnumandmason-usa.com.