Dearest Diary,

Life is moving like the autobahn. Neil kissed Kathryn with tongue (they’ll probably do it soon). Mom beeped the minivan’s horn in front of the movie theater where my soul mate Jacob was playing guitar. Kill me.

What else is new? There’s this new book, Cringe, that’s full of people’s old diary entries. It’s embarrassing, but I can totally relate, especially to the part about Doogie Howser fan letters and cooking as a metaphor for cashing in the V-card.

Apparently it started at Freddy’s (a bar in Brooklyn), where people read from their old journals. Sounds crazy. I will never drink. Alcohol is so disgusting!

If you ever got published I would gag one million times. (Mom: If you’re reading this, we will exchange words.) Gotta go.

LYLAS,

DailyCandy

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