From getting out of speeding tickets to nailing any job interview, you have a knack for talking out of your ass.

Give your bum due respect with a Full Moon Facial at organic medical spa Derma Hair Care.

Strip down to your skivvies and lay derriere up. Your tush and thighs are stimulated with a laser-emitting suction cup that melts away pesky cellulite while toning muscles.

After a gentle cleansing, an exfoliating lemongrass sugar scrub is rubbed into the skin, followed by a calming, hydrating masque. Gentle massages are performed throughout to encourage blood flow and total relaxation.

The service isn’t for the squeamish, and a totally bumpless bottom requires multiple visits.

Better get crackin’.

Available at Derma Hair Care, 111 Rowell Court, Falls Church (703-241-4004 or dermahaircare.com).