T-minus eight hours and you’re still waffling on the costume front (French maid or Jehovah’s Witness?). Keep stalling with our Halloween lexicon.
n. The effect of constantly being startled by the number of revealing costumes surrounding you. (There’s so much cleavage in this room, I’m getting the boo-bies.)
n. The smooth-talking little kid who “trades” with all the other kids for the best loot.
n. The overcoat you inevitably have to wear every year, which totally kills your costume.
n. The effect of too-tight fishnets.
v. When you decide to go as yourself, only sluttier.
n. The massive 48-hour hangover that comes from attending too many Halloween parties.
n. One of the hundreds of Sarah Palin/Tina Fey costumes you’ll spot this year.
n. That ho who copied your witch costume.
n. Just a regular witch. In Boston.
We like to think we wrote the book on lexicons. Perhaps because we did. For an excerpt from The DailyCandy Lexicon: Words That Don’t Exist but Should, go to dailycandy.com/book. Available online at amazon.com.