There are two kinds of people in this world: those who plan their costumes for weeks and those who panic and wear a lampshade at the last minute.

But have no fear: Our last-minute, budget-conscious costume guide is here.

What: Barack-o-Lantern
How to: Dress in head-to-toe orange, write “change” or “hope” in black letters across your chest, and look really, really earnest while raising a lighter in the air.

What: Boo-Tooth
How to:
Wear a bed sheet, strap on your wireless communications device, and make no apologies for using it throughout the night.

What: Gossip Ghoul
How to: Wear the most heinous mask you can find and a tartan mini. Say OMG and dramatically text message about other partygoers all night.

What: Henna Montana
How to: Tattoo your palms and dress in western wear. It might help to sing a bit.

What: Palin Comparison
How to: Grab a friend, fashion similar updos, wink a lot, and ask people to size you up.

What: Pirated DVD
How to: Wear your best eye patch and glue on some favorite discs. Tell the requisite jokes about being rated aaarrrgh.

What: Walk of Shame
How to: Wear an oversize button-down, boxers, and heels. Tease your hair, mess up your makeup, and walk furtively through the party.

There now. You’re ready to hit your favorite haunts.