You just received high school frenemy Marisa Connor’s holiday card, a loving display of her dumb dog, buck-toothed kid, and possibly gay husband, all decked in matching sweaters and Santa hats.
Gag. you. with. a. silver. spoon.
Amuse pals with collaborative sentiments from DailyCandy and Someecards.com, delightfully snarky e-greetings paired with our watercolors.
For your bestie who e-mailed you hourly updates on Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy: “Happy Holidays and Peace on Earth to someone whose talent for vicious gossip has made my life all the richer.” And for the exes: “Happy Holidays to someone I pray I don’t regret contacting as soon as the eggnog is out of my system.”
Meanwhile, “I deeply respect your spending more on a Christmas gift for your dog than on all your family members combined” hits close to home (whatever, Snuggles deserves it.)
It’s like the well-intentioned Grinch broke into Hallmark.
But at least they’re genuine.
Available online at someecards.com.