Some things are tough to say in person. Like, your junk is boring. I mean, physically it excites me (well done, BTW), but it’s just so, um, beige.
Of course, you must wear a condom (sorry, you’re not daddy material). But you should liven things up with French Letter Condoms. The new penile accessories come in red and yellow, studded for stimulation, scented (vanilla or passion fruit), or with a potency ring for performance enhancement. And the shiny tinfoil-like wrapper nails the condom-of-the-future look.
The Brits behind the jaunty raincoats are into fair play: The workers on the rubber plantation receive proper wages and benefits. Not to mention the condoms are completely vegan (suck it, animal lovers).
Well, that pretty much wraps things up.
No glove, no love,