You’re sick of the lies: Belgian chocolate (from New Jersey), organic lilac lotion (made from myxlethgrz-8), Real Housewives of, well, anywhere. What’s a purist to do? Live off the land. And by “live,” we mean “journey,” and by “land,” we mean “flowery acres, organic herb and vegetable gardens, rippling lakes, and global farmers markets where you can pick, pluck, squeeze, catch, or simply stomp locavore-happy grounds.” The Inn at Palmetto Bluff, South Carolina How’s this for an eco checklist? First you tour chef Chris Blobaum’s garden, inspecting the blueberries, lettuces, and asparagus. Then join the on-staff naturalist for alligator tracking and owl prowling on the 20,000 acres. Next it’s crabbing and shrimping on the river. (The chef will prepare your catch for supper, skipper.) To recover, hit the spa for a signature scrub (milk and rosebud, wild rice and mulberry) and mint-infused water made with ingredients from the garden. Lo Scoglio, Amalfi Coast It’s a little slice of heaven in a small fishing village. At the (shockingly low-priced) family-run restaurant and hotel, son Tommaso De Simone cooks Nonna’s recipes using the produce (fava beans, tomatoes, wild arugula, artichokes, escarole) that papa Beppe picked that morning in his fields (along with the fish brought in from the dock that day). Beppe is an amazing character, and he’d be happy to take you on his rounds if you ask. Mandarin Oriental Chiang Mai, Thailand You’ll get a crash course in Thai gastronomy through the Culinary Academy. The experience starts with a guided tour of the bustling local food market, then it’s back to the hotel’s gardens to pick the vegetables and herbs you’ll use (and taste) in the cooking class. On the menu: spicy lemongrass salad with tamarind sauce, grilled prawn soup with holy leaves. Way to cook it up and chow it down. Viceroy Palm Springs, California It’s nature’s bounty inside and out. The on-site desert herb garden is used by both the spa staff to make the signature scrub (a mix of lemongrass, lavender, neroli, and sage) and by the new (super-young, super-cute) chef James Bailey, who will let you join his rounds as he clips unusual herbs and explains what you’ll be eating and cocktailing later. Monachyle Mhor, Scotland It doesn’t get much greener than a hotel located in Trossachs National Park. Owner and chef Tom Lewis leads lads and lassies through the estate’s 2,000 farm animal-filled acres to forage for mushrooms beside the loch and pick fresh produce for pickling, preserving, or eating straight away. Homemade jam and bread, fresh eggs, and locally caught fish? Of course. The Royal Hawaiian, Hawaii Azure chef Jon Matsubara attends the Honolulu fish auction at Pier 38 (the only one of its kind between Tokyo and Maine) at 5:30 every morning to purchase the catch of the day directly from the source. It’s an amazing, rare experience — and you’re welcome to join. Pesco-tacular! Hotel Metropole, Monte-Carlo But if you’re after the fanciest fishing trip on the planet, the concierge at this over-the-top Riviera resort will arrange it. You leave for the Nice harbor at the crack of dawn and go net trawling in the blue seas until midafternoon (equipment and VIP lunch provided, bien sûr). When it’s all done, the hotel’s Michelin-starred chefs will prepare your catch for dinner. Perfect for your no-carbon diet.