Mission Possible

Special Agent Hot Bod, there’s trouble brewing in paradise.

Sources say your enemy, the evil Old Butt Floss, is wreaking havoc across the beaches of St-Tropez, Forte dei Marmi, and Mustique. Reports are Bridgehampton and Malibu are next. She must be stopped.

Contact Lisa Marie Fernandez — she’s undercover as a swimwear designer in New York and London. Her team of suits has the athletic sleekness necessary for carrying out this mission. Secret weapons include Jasmine’s frontal support and camouflage color, Lauren’s flexible boning, and Genevieve’s heavy-duty plastic buckle.

Any and all of Fernandez’s operatives can go from sunbathing to scuba diving without the slip of a nip or loss of a bottom.

Remember, the contents of this memorandum are confidential.

However, we won’t be surprised if word gets out.

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