You thought you were over Cabo and wet T-shirt contests at Señor Frog’s. (That was so 2008.) But now, because of media hype (short for “hysteria”) and a limited understanding of geography (Cabo didn’t have a single case of swine flu), you can get a sweet deal on the high end of the Baja peninsula, where there’s not a whistle-blowing tequila-pourer in sight. Ham It Up The Marquis Los Cabos has a 15,000-square-foot spa that overlooks the ocean, an open-air lobby with mountain views, and 28 casitas with private, roof-deck or terrace pools (in case you still want to flaunt your ta-tas). Before checking out, stop at the low-key Vista Ballenas resto for excelente huevos rancheros. What’s that? Twenty percent off the entire hotel bill? Muy excelente. Pig Out Book the posh Las Ventanas al Paraíso and use your $200 resort credit at the award-winning restaurant, where dishes like holly leaf-wrapped red snapper favor locally grown ingredients, including herbs picked from the on-site garden. The food is tasty and so is the French chef, Fabrice Guisset — ask for a private cooking demo. At the holistic spa, crystal singing bowls relax mind and body. Animal Farm Don’t let crashing waves distract you from the mountains. Get a little dirty on an hour-long horseback ride through the desert. No old whinnies here: Family-run Cuadra San Francisco offers beautiful, well-trained horses. Work up to a gallop on the way up, but slow down as you head back or miss the breathtaking views. Go Hog Wild Cabo Adventures offers the usual — dolphin kissing, canopy tours — but try America’s Cup Sailing to compete against another group of seamen on the legit Team New Zealand NZL 81 and NZL 82 racing yachts. Get a workout grinding the sails up and down or just enjoy the scenery — by which we mean the fine mix of Aussies and Kiwis manning the boat. Thick Slice Get into the swing of things at the One & Only Palmilla resort. On top of two free nights with a seven-night stay, the luxe hotel will throw in complimentary golf on its quality course. Also above par: the restaurants. Eat Mediterranean under a palapa roof at Agua or Euro-Asian at Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s Market. Tender Loins After bouncing on a horse and bracing yourself on a boat, you’ll need a rubdown. Where better than Esperanza? The impressive spa is an outdoor canopy of flowers, steam rooms, plunge pools, and private treatment rooms. A thorough massage will loosen you up cheek to cheek (as in, ass to face). Take full advantage as a hotel guest: Get a free night when you book four. And don’t worry. There’s no way you’ll get boared.Cabo solo? No way, Jose. Invite your amigos along for the fun.