Republic of High East, 2049 AD

Guard: You there! What’s that thing over your shoulder?

Prisoner (looking nervous): Oh, just my Pansy Maiden handbag.

G: Accessories are expressly prohibited. General Secretary Efron’s orders.

P: But I bought this bag before the Dance Dance Revolution. See, its construction is incredible, double-stitched at all of the stress points.

G: Leather goods were banned after the Silverstone-Portman Act of ’39. Hand it over.

P: But the bag is all vegan, made with fabrics like canvas and cotton twill (some organics, too) and ecofriendly dyes.

G (softening): Such beautiful, bright colors. The bags must have cost many millions of dollars.

P: No, they were very affordable. All of the designs, like clutches and shoulder bags, came in at under $100.

G: Well, then, carry on.

Available online at supermarkethg.com. To see styles, go to pansymaiden.com.