Litter Bugs

A Notice from the Department of Shoe Sanitation

Dear Residents,

It has come to our attention that there has been a significant increase in the amount of Litter covering our feet. What began as a regional scattering of rings and spikes in Cow Hollow, SF, has spread across the entire nation.

It is for your sole benefit that we provide the following guidelines:

  • Simply Walk Away from the gold mesh front strap and its alluring mixed chains.
  • Be on high alert for the heavy metal stomping of the bold Walk of Shame.
  • Keep your heels, wedges, sandals, and bare feet protected at all times with spiked silver Planks.

And, most importantly, always exercise caution when stepping out. You wouldn’t want to look trashy.

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