In the case of Sanity v. Chocolate, we call the defense to the stand.

Mr. Askinosie, is it true you’re choosing to represent yourself today, seeing as you were a renowned criminal defense attorney before you chose this, ahem, path?

Yes.

Now, is it a fact that you’re the founder of Askinosie Chocolate, the premium bean-to-bar brand operating out of a Willy Wonka-style warehouse in Missouri? That you make dark, milk, white, even white with pistachio, sourcing ingredients from quality farms the world over?

Yes, sir. [Gasp!]

And, finally, is it true people cannot think straight once they taste one bite? They go insane for it? They go cuckoo for your cocoa?

Of course.

Order in the court! Order in the court! Mr. Askinosie, how does it feel to make such an irresistible chocolate?

Guilty as charged.

Available online at askinosie.com.