Go Ask Alice

It’s 3 a.m., and he’s finally asleep. Time to get down to business.

Uh, oh! Looks like your sneaky plan is all that’s getting flushed — there’s not a single sheet of TP to be found.

Meet Alice. It’s her job to make sure such situations never happen again.

The online supermart stocks all home essentials, keeps track of when it’s time to restock, and delivers the goods for free. Plus, stuff is priced lower (often 20-30 percent) than at other retailers.

Simply create an account, pick the products you use regularly, and leave the restocking and heavy lifting to your new best friend. The options range from the obvious (trash bags, laundry detergent) to the embarrassing (things you dread taking to the counter like enemas and lube).

Because we all know that sometimes shit happens.

Available online at