Hello mother. Hello father. I am here at that shop Confederacy. The store is very entertaining, And it’s online now — excitement I’m not feigning. Out in L.A., it’s sensational For red carpet invitationals Or plain old Monday through lazy Sunday. The racks stay stocked with designers that make you cray cray. Loads of girls’ stuff, like hot Devastee And the big guns like Barbara Bui. You remember Loeffler Randall? There’s more clothes and shoes on there than I can handle. All the menswear is oh so dapper. Even basics by Robert Geller. Patrik Ervell, Michael Bastian, and Tim Hamilton gear fit for a dashing captain. Wait a minute, hold on a second, There’s a sale on, yes, I reckon. They’re giving half off. What could be better? Mother, father, kindly pass around this letter. Available online at shopconfederacy.com.