Last time you put your keys in the fishbowl, you ended up necking with an ambiguously gay John Mayer wannabe. (His body was not a wonderland.)
Ensure satisfaction (i.e., rig the game) next time with help from Stat Key Company, a new site selling adorable nickel chrome key blanks you can have cut at your local hardware store.
Choose from an eclectic mix of ready-to-order shapes ranging from classically cute (ladybug, pig) to masculine (grenade, knight) to pragmatic (house). If you don’t see one you like, go ahead and request that the peeps make one custom just for you.
They can totally swing that.
Available online at statkeycompany.com.