Operator: Hello, Weddings Emergency Call Center, how may I help you?

Miss-Behavin: The maids can’t settle on dresses, and the caterer won’t stop with chicken or fish. I’m losing my shiznit, lady.

Operator: (consulting script) I understand your frustration, but please don’t panic, madam. Have you tried an online poll?

Miss-Behavin: Good idea! I’m going to take a pole and shove it …

Operator: Ma’am, please don’t use that kind of language, or I will have to disconnect this call. I was referring to taking a vote on your Nearlyweds wedding site.

Miss-Behavin: Have you seen those cheesy websites? They’re hideous and so un-user friendly. Where’s your supervisor?

Operator: Yes, I have seen them, ma’am. This one is especially modern, simple to create, and has all the features you need.

Miss-Behavin: Keep talking …

Operator: There’s a section for accommodations, your story, photos, video, the wedding party, a blog, and even R.S.V.P.s — all on your own custom site that takes just a few minutes to build.

Miss-Behavin: For what, a billion dollars?

Operator: No, ma’am. It costs just $49 for one year.

Miss-Behavin: Why are we still talking? Sheesh. I’ve got a site to design.

Available online at nearlyweds.com.