Your shrink appointment’s at 4 p.m. You leave the house at 3:20 p.m. and live approximately 22 minutes away (HopStop says so).
So why are you late? Because Moron Cantdriverstein took a whopping two spots for his Range Rover, and there’s no space for your dumb smart car. Time for him to die.
It’s not worth going to jail. Give him a message from youparklikeanasshole.com instead. Just head to the site and print out some PDFs with phrases on them like: two spots, one car; ummm … a little too close; that’s a compact?; and over the painted lines. When the situation arises, check the appropriate boxes and leave the note on the violator’s windshield.
While it won’t fix your current predicament, it will mitigate your rage.
And keep you out of anger management.
Available online at youparklikeanasshole.com.
Photo: The U.S National History Archives / Flickr