On the road to rocket-scientist renown, your child has only a few more stops to go: masters at MIT (practically accepted), undergrad at Harvard (application submitted over a year ago), and nursery school (talk about a tough entrance exam).

After ...

When the names got passed out in garment heaven, certain women’s items really got screwed. And, as you might imagine, they’re none too pleased.

The stole is resentful. The muff is pissed as hell.

And the wife-beater? Well, it’s absolutely ...

Another banner session at the gym. Between the impossible-to-decipher cardio equipment and the endless wait for the treadmill, it’s no wonder you can’t break a sweat.

Great timing, too. Your ass is looking more like a honey-baked ham every day. ...

You’ve never appreciated the term flat-chested. It’s just so negative.

You prefer differently busted.

Still, there’s no way to put a good spin on the situation in the lingerie department, where most of the cutest bras are B cup and ...

Studded accessories walk a fine line.

One minute you’re wonderfully in fashion. The next you’re the mascot for a biker gang.

How to know when you’re doing it right? Get yourself a hot Old Man River crystal belt, which takes ...

“Yes, I’d like an order of sesame noodles, General Tso’s chicken, two steamed pork buns, and a spring roll. To go.”

“Anything else?”

“Yes. One order of baby rolled in fleece.”

You can get that to go, too. The Walk ...

Have you ever, in a moment of deep reflection, paused while pulling out a few bucks and gazed searchingly toward the heavens, wondering, “Oh, dear wallet, wherever did you come from? How were you made? Who lovingly sewed you together?” ...