There are celebs, and there are celebs.

In today’s video, we meet up with our favorite member of the latter: Uggie, a.k.a. star of The Artist, who takes time out of his busy A-lister schedule to show us how to do everything.

From spicing up your marriage to avoiding your landlord, he’s been there, done that. For further proof, check out his eponymous new autobiography (that’s right), Uggie.

And to answer your questions: Is he humble despite his millions? Yes. Is he shorter in person? Maybe just a little. Is he really a toddler dressed in a canine costume?

We didn’t get that kind of access.

Uggie is available at amazon.com, $10. For more gratuitous animal footage, check out our videos on turning your dog into a painter and giving a canine massage.