No wonder you’re grumpy. You’ve been sitting in your cubicle for two hours, scouring your ex’s online wedding registry for things to mock. Chip-and-salsa bowl … fondue pot … Could their selections be any more clichéd?
Um, could you? Someone ...
(Woman reading paper)
“Wow. There’s a lot going on in the world … Why is my life so uneventful?”
(Close-up on newspaper title: “Woman Reads Headline”)
“This is amazing! Finally, I get some recognition.”
(Deep in thought)
“But how can ...
You may feel like you always deserve the royal treatment. You just can’t always get it. These spas will spoil you with almost anything you could want. (Except for the palanquin to tote you around.)
Virgin Territory
Does it get ...
We all do it.
Sneak upstairs during a party to check out the goods in the host’s bedroom or bath.
Unfortunately, absconding with the findings is generally frowned upon.
Welcome to Environment337, where you’re encouraged to snoop to your heart’s ...
You’ve got that minivan tricked out.
Hot tunes, childproof locks, and, oh, yeah, the kid himself are all you need to feel at one with the open road.
Of course, you’d never settle for just any old car seat. ...
The wind blowing your plastic streamers. The sweet smell of asphalt- burned rubber. The shrill brrring of your shiny silver bell.
And, most satisfying, the subtle shade of green the kids next door turned at the sight of your tricked-out ...
Severe winter weather has transformed your once-dewy complexion into a chapped nightmare. Dry, flaky, textured like sandpaper. How to break it to you gently? Your face looks like ass.
Don’t fight it. Just treat it like one.
Nothing soothes water-starved ...
Congratulations. You’ve survived the season of perpetual cheer and high-stakes good behavior. Time to return to your regularly scheduled petty naughtiness.
Need help rekindling your innner imp? Check out Too Beautiful for You, a collection of eleven audacious, excruciating, and ...
