August 2, 2007

Baby Talk

Parenting Lexicon

They say Eskimos have hundreds of words to describe snow. You say that’s nothing compared to the language of parenting.

And since we’ve created lexicons for adults dealing with everything from technology to sex, it seemed high time to give a shout-out to all the moms and dads who’ve delved into the wonderful, often insane world of raising a kid.

babysnit
n. The display of indignation from your babysitter when you come home late.

bedtime snorey
n. The bedtime story that puts Dad to sleep before the kids.

gerbrr
n. The disdain your baby gives her strained peas. (Riley goes to town on mushed bananas, but veggies always get the gerbrr.)

girth announcements
n. Pregnant women’s never-ending discussions about their changing sizes.

hush bunny
n. The bribe offered in the candy aisle of the supermarket to avert a tantrum.

instinkt
n. A mother’s uncanny ability to sense when her baby needs to be changed. (Jen has amazing instinkt. She could tell Henry had packed heat almost before he did.)

peakaboo
n. The height of conspicuous consumption characterized by the acquisition of a Bugaboo, BabyBjörn, and other products toted by celeb moms.

piano stressons
n. Activities that drive the overscheduled child to sheer exhaustion. (See also: tennis lessons, Mommy and Me yoga, organic cooking classes, and/or Kumon math.)

playboy playdate
n. The cutest little boy on the playground. (Girls are always inviting Ethan over. He’s a total playboy playdate.)

speed bump
n. A first-time mother-to-be’s desire to start showing as soon as she can.