You’ve suffered countless blind dates. Trawled the ‘relationship’ aisle at Waterstone’s to no avail. You’ve even read The Rules. (There. You admitted it. Doesn’t that feel better?)

But when it comes to cosy coupledom, you’re still out in the cold.

Didn’t your mother ever tell you that the way to someone’s heart is through the stomach? For the requisite culinary education, head over to the refreshingly unpretentious Underground Catering and Cookery School, where ex-River Cafe chef Matt Kemp will teach you how to whip up a tasty Thai curry or a seductive chocolate mousse for two.

And if you’re prone to dinner party disasters, Kemp will come and cook for you at home. He promises to protect (your reputation) and serve (your food). He’ll even do the washing up so you can play those all-important after-dinner games.

Twister, anyone?

Underground Catering and Cookery School, 4/5 Eldon Street, EC2 (020 7426 2171). Classes run on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, 6-9 p.m. Private catering by appointment only.