Herbaceous borders. Water features. Pan-Asian rockeries.

Watching Alan Titchmarsh on the telly can seem futile when you’ve got only  a window box to cultivate.

Meet the Plant Me Pets, brightly coloured Latex figures that resemble  those walking, talking chocolate M&M’s, only with  longer bodies and fiendish eyes — which are, in fact, seeds.

You may be tempted to nurture your pet, stroke it lovingly, tell it your deepest woes, parade it proudly around the park. But what you’re  supposed to do is bury it upside down in a flowerpot, water it daily and enjoy the fruit it will bear. (Choose from I’m the Pumpkin,  I’m the Melon or I’m the Tomato.)

A pet that gives but doesn’t take? Undoubtedly man’s new best friend.

And it won’t even poo all over the patio.

Available online at firebox.com.