19 July 2005

Lexicon XIV

DailyCandy Sexicon

Welcome to the DailyCandy Lexicon, a regular feature in which we provide you with new vocabulary. (There will not be a test). Today’s subject is the dating game — that labyrinth of mystery, intrigue and confusion that can leave you feeling lost for words.

So we’ve made some up for you.

bonk statement
n. the reply you must give to the question that every prospective lover will casually pose after you first have sex. (So, how many people have you slept with before me)?

boreplay
n. the worst kind of foreplay, which rarely, if ever, leads to intercourse.

inebridate
v. to regularly and repeatedly have drunken intercourse (never sober) with the same person. (If my liver could take it, I’d inebridate John for at least another couple of months).

locationship
n. a relationship based solely on proximity, such as with your neighbour.

manbiguous
adj. a quality in a man by which his behavior, sexual and otherwise, raises question about his sexual orientation.

textual harassment
n. a proposition via text message; received, generally speaking, quite late in the evening. Similar to a textual advance, only far more annoying.