We interrupt our regular schedule to bring you an important announcement: we can see your underwear.

Yes. You have a VPL. You thought out of sight meant out of mind. You were wrong.

It’s time to go Commando. Not literally, of course. Commando is a genius new line of precision-cut underwear made from a patented fabric that renders knicker lines invisible. Available in black, nude, dark nude and white thongs and shorts, these feel like silky, stretchy opaque tights and slide on like a second skin.

No more butt cheeks sliced in half by demi briefs. (Squeezing two buttocks into tight white jeans is bad enough, but four is simply careless). No more granny pants flattening your bottom so as to make your thighs protrude like small handbags. Commando panties are so undetectable, observers will think you are wearing nothing at all.

Let them.

You’ll be doing the whole nation a service.

Available at VPL, 61a Ledbury Road, W11 (020 7221 6644); Coco Ribbon, 133 Sloane Street, SW1 (020 7730 8555); or online at hqhair.com. To see styles, go to commandointimates.com.