26 September 2005

Absolutely Freezing

Absolut Icebar

Travel Editor’s Friend: Have you ever been to the Ice Hotel in Sweden?

Travel Editor: Of course.

TEF: What was it like? We’re thinking of going for our honeymoon.

TE: Awful.

TEF: Oh.

TE: Certainly stunning to look at: the rooms are carved out of Nordic ice, and the sculptures are incredible. But it’s bloody uncomfortable lying on a bed as hard as your dinner table with only a deerskin for comfort. You sleep in a full-on snow suit that at least twenty other people have slept in before you. Don’t assume for a minute that you’ll be able to have sex — it’ll take you hours to get undressed.

And if you need to pee, you can’t just nip into the en suite. You have to get up and walk all the way to the indoor — and communal! — changing rooms to spend a penny. And there’s a mad naked man who jumps in and out of a plunge pool on the lake, beckoning guests to join him. Fun, but a bit much.

TEF: Right. So we should probably just stick to the Maldives, then.

TE: Right. But didn’t you know they’re opening an Icebar in London? I thought everyone knew that.

TEF: We didn’t. But then we live in Yorkshire.

TE: Just go there, darling. It’s only twelve quid to get in and you get a free drink. Just as cool and stunning without the overnight commitment. So much easier — and, frankly, much more fun — than flying all that way for a sleepless night, don’t you think?

Absolut Icebar, 29-33 Heddon Street, W1 (020 7287 9192 or belowzerolondon.com).