3 October 2005

Full Beam Ahead

B.E.A.M. Beauty Treatment

Sick of stewing Amazonian bush twigs for your constipation? Forgetting to take your multi multivitamins with your soya decaf latte? Still confused whether a herbologist is for furry tongues or barren window boxes?

Try a little vacuuming instead. Not the menial kind. The kind that cleans your energy channels.

Don’t strap yourself to a Dyson just yet. Hand your body (and your trust) over to a Body Energy Alignment Method (that’s B.E.A.M.) expert, but don’t be alarmed when she attaches rubber suction cups to your flesh. The suckers purportedly unblock energy paths, boost the immune system and cure everything from insomnia to IBS to sinus problems.

There is one slight drawback to this exercise: like a modern-day version of leeching, it leaves you covered in red blotches. But don’t be put off; cupping circles get you plenty of attention (especially if you happen to be a reclusive  film star named Gwyneth).

Or you could always pretend they’re love bites, another great pick-me-up that will leave you feeling relaxed, energised and out of this world.

Beam you up, Scottie.

B.E.A.M., 44 Portland Place, W1 (0845 6126 621 or beamschoolandclinic.com).