Online - October 14, 2005

Tapped for Greatness

The Uber Tap

As we all know, in Thus Spake Zarathustra, Nietzsche introduced the concept of the Uber-mensch, or superman: a paragon of human will, spirit, and intellect.

What you may not be as familiar with is Nietzsche’s concept of the Uber Tap.

The device is the culmination of beer’s long historical journey toward perfection, the acme of booze-dispensing technology, and, of course, what the Ubermensch uses at all his raging keggers. Truly the superhero of taps, the Uber Tap can simultaneously serve three thirsty drinkers, spewing brew from not one, not two, but three prolific outlets. A foot pump means your other hand is left free for air-punches, high-fives, and lewd gestures.

Gone are the days of lame parties bogged down by sluggish keg lines, squabbles over the tap, and an archaic belief in a nonexistent God. With the Uber Tap in your corner, you can be assured that your gatherings will be all fun, all the time.

And that in the realm of party-throwers, you’ll reign supreme uber alles.

Available online at ubertap.com.