Online - November 14, 2005

Sock It to Me

The Birthday Sock

In the beginning, there was the birthday. There were balloons, hats, cake, ice cream, games, presents, and goodie bags. And it was good.

Then, as the years passed, people started to give us cards with mean jokes about our “saggy ass” and our “senior moments.” That was not so good.

How to bring back the joy? The Birthday Sock. Designed to be hung on your mantel, it functions much like the Christmas stockings we all know and love. Just post it somewhere conspicuous the night before your birthday (simultaneously yelling, “Okay, I’m hanging up my Birthday Sock now!” has been shown to improve results) and hit the sack. With any luck, by morning, it will be filled with presents.

Available in a variety of punchy colors, the Sock is not only a wonderful way to guilt your loved ones into getting you more stuff; it’s a bold new twist on a special day, guaranteed to restore birthdays to the paradise-like events they once were.

And rescue them from the hell they’ve become.

Available online at thebirthdaysock.com.