Nothing brings one down like the word ‘detox’.

It’s the kind of alarming term — like ‘enema’ or ‘alfalfa’ or ‘gym membership’ — that makes you want to reach for the Baileys and the Krispy Kremes instantly.

But eliminating your toxins doesn’t have to involve total starvation/chronic halitosis/a hosepipe up your bottom. Apply one of Crystal Spring’s detoxing foot pads on your weary soles at night, and the results of any hedonistic lifestyle will seep out into the pad, leaving a rather satisfying yet utterly repellent sticky, green mess.

Containing tourmaline, wood and bamboo vinegars and a variety of exotic Eastern herbs, the pads should be used for fourteen nights. As each night passes, there will be less and less goo (in theory), meaning your system is thoroughly cleansed.

By the end, if all works according to the package, your skin will glow and your energy will increase.

And you can resume your usual hedonistic lifestyle with a clear conscience.

Available online at crystalspringltd.co.uk.