2 February 2006

Say You Love Me

Valentine’s Day Gift Guide

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
But they’re deeply unoriginal
And costly, too.

You don’t have to be rich to be thoughtful on Valentine’s Day. The hard-up or stingy could send a free IOU — I owe you a kiss/one night’s babysitting/a lifetime of happiness — sealed with an Honesty Stamp.

Romantics will desire an illustrated book of Shakespeare’s sonnets  or a sexy print by Natasha Law; they’ll last long after flowers have died.

When it comes to sheer (legal) ecstasy, an eight-hand Ashtaang massage for one or two people is pretty unbeatable (Spa at Chancery Court, 252 High Holborn, WC1; 020 7829 7058). And you can’t go wrong with decent underwear for the ladies; the most exclusive comes from Pussy Glamore or Kalita.

Give a heartfelt meal. Decent home-cooked food can be delivered from Cook or even from the supermarket: two current foolproof winners on the shelves are Bigham’s and Gü, whose chocolate soufflés guarantee speedy entry to someone’s heart (and/or pants) every time.

Those who don’t get lucky may need Wake Me Up At stickers for the tube journey home. Or Klong, a toy which offers unconditional companionship minus the annoying habits. And which, after its initial purchase fee, does not require a single penny to be spent on it whatsoever.

How original.