What are the two foremost uses for water?

To hydrate the body and to shift prehistoric poos, of course.

Hydrohealing is a groovy new spa-cum-clinic dedicated to the restorative powers of water. There are various therapeutic treatments on offer: the Dead Sea mineral hydrofloat, the hydroblitz facial and the hydroflex — a form of reflexology using powerful spurts of water.

And then there’s the hydrocolonic.

If you’ve never had one, this is the place to do it. Your bottom will be in the competent (and thankfully, warm) hands of therapist Mary Chase Hopkins, who’s a dab hand with the KY and the hosepipe. You’ll leave with less anxiety, less fatigue and less weight. And, alas, less money.

Consider it water under the bridge.

Hydrohealing, 216a Kensington Park Road, W11 (020 7727 2570 or hydrohealing.com).