You only have to watch Sir Alan and those eejits to see why some people take off faster than others. But don’t assume it’s the losers who always lose out.

Nihilistic ne’er-do-wells have never seemed sexier than in Tourism, the new literary debut from Nirpal Singh Dhaliwal (husband of journalist Liz Jones). Likely, you’ve heard about it. And if you haven’t, then listen up; it’ll make any tube journey a lot more enjoyable.

The book’s antihero, Bhupinder (a.k.a. Puppy), is a lovable, cynical escapee from Southall who flirts, freeloads and philosophises his way around Soho and Portobello during the long, hot summer of 2002. Sarupa is the tantalising woman of his dreams; Sophie, his girlfriend, is a deliciously mean caricature of a dopey demi-Sloane.

London’s trust-fund bores and media whores will gasp with shame as they recognise themselves playing bit parts. And there’s plenty of undressing going on.

It seems that careers aren’t the only things that benefit from a little taking off.

Available online at amazon.com or your local bookshop.