Your devotion to adoption has been fickle. First, you bought a goldfish. A year later, a guinea pig. Then a cactus. All three dropped dead within months. 

If you yearn for a friendly pet but can’t take care of anything but yourself, why not adopt an olive tree? You buy it, someone else looks after it, and you reap all the benefits.

Nudo, an olive grove-covered hillside in Italy, has an abundance of trees you can adopt as your own. Just pick your plant and watch it (by email-when you can be bothered) grow — no actual tilling or nurturing required.

A one-year adoption earns you your tree’s produce (olive oil packaged in charming little tins for spring and mashed into handmade soap in autumn), delivered to your house. You can choose from various locations in the grove which have different varietal, land, and tree populations.

Your little bundle of joy comes with a personalized booklet and certificate of adoption.

Just like another of your whims — that Cabbage Patch Kid you flogged on eBay.

Available online at nudo-italia.com.