Online - June 13, 2007

Ripped from the Headlines

The Pooled Blood Pillow

In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police who investigate crime and their friends who fake head injuries.

These are their stories.

Detective Green: Do you have the COD?

Pathologist: Cash on delivery?

Det. Green: No, cause of death. Duh.

Pathologist: Oh, of course. I’m just distracted because I’m expecting a delivery of Turbie Twists. They really help your hair dry quickly, and they’re so lightweight they don’t strain your neck.

Det. Green: Hello?! Focus. What’s the cause of death?

Pathologist: Dude, this guy’s not dead. He’s just lying on a Pooled Blood Pillow. It’s deep red, flat, and made of velvet, so it looks like a pool of blood. It even “drips” convincingly. But this guy’s perfectly fine. Except for his relatively dark sense of humor.

Det. Green (kicking “dead” guy): So you’re not dead?

Previously Dead Guy: Gotcha!

Available online at etsy.com.